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Thursday, 03 July 2008

julyy... here i come.

Ahhh~~ its so nice to have summer kick in.

I'm finally able to just chill at home. freeload at borders whenever. for whatever.
i do summer school for SAT prep. not so excited about this but still.
finally went by UNC for campus tour. pretty fun eh?
um. yeah.

What do you do when the people you've held on to for so long have become stranger writhing to get out of the grasp of your hands. when the people you've known for so long become people you knew.
when you dont know why you cant let go. when you heart grows weak because you cant hold a simple conversation anymore. because you see them in the hallway. eyes meet but nothing happens. there's no spark. there's no smile. not even a wave. they eye you coldly as you walk on by. that, or you're a part of the wall. they cant see you.
its like being a rain drop that falls in the ocean. you're not yourself, and instead you're identified as something ... a part of something much bigger that can drag you this way and that ... and you have no control over where you go. how you go...

that's food for thought for today. lots of fors. hahaha. wow.
--joannaaaaaaa

Thursday, 26 June 2008

oii. joanna wants xanga back?

yeah. facebook. facebook is dissapointing. its like whooo! i have 500+ friends who can read every damned note i write. yay~
no.
i like xanga.
but the problem is. i dont know how to use it anymore. it got all complicated on me so i'm not really sure how i'm supposed to used the thing.

but anywho.

i have an email to write. i 'll update some more later~~

Friday, 30 May 2008

finals...

man. i think i'm going to fail these finals. i should be studying but i'm here on the computer facebookin.

seriously. xanga just like ... died.
poor thing.

man. we're going on this retreat thing.
and i'm so.. idk. i'm sort of frazzled. i sort of want to be like all hyped and stuff like i normally would be. but this time they are going. 1 is going. 2 is going. 3 is going. they are going.

i have nothing against they. they are truly amazing individuals that make me smile and laugh on a nearly daily basis. i love them. they're friends. but idk. i just.. i have this weird bothering feeling about it. maybe i do have something against them. maybe i dont. idk. i wish i could just forget about this.

not onlyt hat but i have to wear a bathing suit at some point. i cant find a bathing suit these days that cover up everything the way i want. they cover my stomach. not my boobs. my boobs but not my belly. or it doesnt cover nearly enough of everything. i'm paranoid. been trying to drop my stomach fat. been trying to lose weight. but i'm not like going over the edge [i've eaten healthy meals all day today .. just not on time lol].

Wednesday, 21 May 2008

So school's nearly over so i thought i'd start preparing for a summer of endless stupid surveys with a short one..
or a few.. • c o n f e s s i o n s • ~•*be honest*•~

- y e s - o r - n o -
I'M AFRAID OF SILENCE: no
I TALK A LOT WHEN I GET NERVOUS: no
I AM REALLY TICKLISH: yes, extremely!
I'VE BEEN CALLED A TEASE: yes,,,
I'VE BEEN CALLED "JAIL-BAIT": nope.
I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK: nope. a little. haha.
I'M AFRAID OF FACING MY BACK TO OPEN DOORS AT NIGHT: nope
I CAN'T SLEEP IN A ROOM IF THE CLOSET DOOR IS OPEN: noe
I AM A HOMOSEXUAL: nope
I BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE: yeah
I'VE RUN AWAY FROM HOME: yes
I LISTEN TO POLITICAL MUSIC: nope
I COLLECT COMIC BOOKS: no
I SHUT OTHERS OUT WHEN I'M SAD: nope. total opposite.
I'VE STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT: yeah.
I OPEN UP TO OTHERS EASILY: yeah. too easily.
I AM KEEPING A SECRET FROM THE WORLD: ..maybe.
I WATCH THE NEWS: yea.
I OWN OVER 5 RAP CD'S: no.
I LOVE DISNEY MOVIES: yea.
I AM A SUCKER FOR GREEN EYES: sometimes.
I AM A SUCKER FOR BROWN EYES: sometimes
I AM A SUCKER FOR BLUE EYES: no
I DON'T KILL BUGS: HAHAHA no.
I CURSE: yeah
I'VE CHEATED ON MY BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: haha no ...
I'VE SLIPPED AND FELL IN PUBLIC: yeah
I'VE SLIPPED OUT A "LOL" IN A REAL CONVERSATION: yeah
I LOVE SPAM: yeah
I'M A GOOD COOK: nope.
I HAVE WORN PAJAMAS TO CLASS: yeah.
I HAVE OWNED SOMETHING FROM ABERCROMBIE: yeah.
I WANT A BETTER JOB..OR A JOB: yeah kind of needing cash lately. XD
I'VE TALKED ON THE PHONE FOR 6+ HOURS: yeah
I LOVE DR. PHIL: no, i hate him.
I LIKE SOMEONE: yeah
I AM GUILTY OF TyPiNg LiKe ThIs: yeah
I AM SELF-CONSCIOUS: yeah
I LOVE TO LAUGH: yeah
I DRINK ALCOHOL FREQUENTLY: lol lol lol psh no
I'VE SMOKED A PACK OF CIGARETTES IN 1 DAY: nopeerrzz
I'M NOT A VIRGIN: haha no, i am a virgin.
I LOVE LORD OF THE FLIES: no, i dont.
I EAT COUGH DROPS WHEN I'M NOT SICK: yeah.
I CAN'T SWALLOW PILLS: no, i like pills. compared to liquids that is..
I HAVE A LOT OF SCARS: yeah
I CAN'T SLEEP IF I KNOW THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE ROOM: YES,
I LOVE CHOCOLATE: yeah
I BITE MY NAILS: not anymore.
I TWIRL MY HAIR: yeah
I AM COMFORTABLE WITH BEING ME: yea.. but sometimes i dont really know who "me" is.
I PLAY COMPUTER GAMES WHEN I'M BORED: yeah. no.
I TAKE THESE GAY SURVEYS WHEN I'M BORED: yeah!
I'VE SEEN A SHOOTING STAR: yeah, a few in the same hour actually. they're really pretty.
I'VE HAD A "MENAGE A TROIS": ...?
I'VE GONE OUT IN PUBLIC IN MY PAJAMAS: yeah
I'VE KISSED A STRANGER: no
I'VE KISSED SOMEONE FOR THE HELL OF IT: hahaha no.
I'VE HUGGED A STRANGER: yeah.
I'VE BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX: yeah
I'VE LAUGHED AND HAD SOME TYPE OF BEVERAGE COME OUT OF MY NOSE: yeah
I'VE PUSHED ALL THE BUTTONS IN AN ELEVATOR: yeah
I'VE MADE OUT IN AN ELEVATOR: no...
I'VE KICKED A GUY WHERE IT HURTS ON PURPOSE: yeah
I'VE BEEN SKYDIVING: yeah. i wish.
I'VE BEEN BUNGEE JUMPING: no
I'VE HAD STITCHES: yea. no.
I'VE BITTEN SOMEONE..AS A JOKE: yeah.
I'VE BEEN TO NIAGARA FALLS: yeah.
I'VE HAD THE CHICKEN POX: yeah.
I'VE CRASHED INTO A CAR: nope!!
I'VE BEEN TO JAPAN: no...
I'VE RIDDEN IN A TAXI: yeah no.
I'VE SHOPLIFTED: yeah, accident.
I'VE BEEN FIRED: yeah, no. i dont get fired, i quit.
I'VE HAD FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T HAVE THEM BACK: yeah, few times actually.
I'VE STOLEN SOMETHING FROM MY JOB: no.
I'VE BEEN ON A BLIND DATE: no.
I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER: yeah. no. ew. who ..ew.
I'VE CELEBRATED MARDI GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS: no
I'VE BEEN TO EUROPE: no
I'VE SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER, AND/OR EMPLOYEE: no
I'VE BEEN MARRIED: no
I'VE GOTTEN DIVORCED: no
I'VE BEEN PREGNANT: no
I'VE SEEN SOMETHING/SOMEONE DYING: yea
I HAVE A LIST OF PEOPLE I WANT TO KILL: yea
I'VE DRIVEN OVER 400 MILES IN 1 DAY: no
I'VE BEEN TO CANADA: yea
I'VE BEEN ON A PLANE: yeah.
I'VE SEEN THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW: no.
I'VE THROWN UP FROM DRINKING: no...
I'VE EATEN SUSHI: yeah. i'm asian. man... freal.
I'VE BEEN SKIING: yeah. fun stuff.
I'VE BEEN ICE SKATING: yeah. also fun stuff
I'VE CRIED IN PUBLIC: yeah. few times.
I'VE TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE: oh man.
I'VE LIKED SOMEONE EVEN THOUGH I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE: yeah.
I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT SOMEONE ALMOST 24/7: yeah.
I'VE HATED THE WORLD: yeah. no.
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety!
What is your favorite..
gum: 5 gum. and ... juicy fruit.
restaurant: yechon
drink: strawberry smoothie. thick and really cold.
season: winter. summer.
type of weather: breezy no clouds. extremely sunny but not hot.
emotion: hm... calm?
thing to do on a half day: sleep.
late-night activity: AIM.
sport: prlly... idk. i dont have one. to watch? basketball. to be at? football. to scream till i go hoarse at? soccer.
city: annandale.
store: hm. i dont have one. not a big shopper obviously.

When was the last time you..
cried: yesterday
played a sport: uh. last weekend.
laughed: lol like five minutes ago?
hugged someone: uh... after school. caitlin.
kissed someone: oh man. like. the last time i went to the park alone with someone..
felt depressed: oh i feel like that quite often but i'm not like clinically depressed.
felt elated: haha.
felt overworked: oh everyday man. everyday.
faked sick: hhahaha. last semester for a test.
lied: oh yesterday

What was the last..
word you said: i dont know .. i said "ew"
thing you ate: rice.
song you listened to: 3 dooors dowwwn..this time
thing you drank: water [i just typed wrong.. wtf mate]
place you went to: band room.
movie you saw: uh baby mama
movie you rented: uh. idk.
concert you attended: joyce's band concert

Who was the last person you..
hugged: caitlin
cried over: prlly.. dad.
kissed: ...daniel.
danced with: idk. oneway team.
shared a secret with: oh man. i dont even know.
had a sleepover with: uh. been too long.
called: mom
went to a movie with: uh. sadly, i dont remember. prlly with the group a long while back.
saw: my sister
were angry with: sister
couldn't take your eyes off of: .....hannah b/c she had cow shoes. man..
obsessed over: haha i dont ever obsess like that.

Have you ever..

danced in the rain: yeah
kissed someone: yeah
done drugs: no
drank alcohol: no
slept around: no
partied 'til the sun came up: yea
had a movie marathon: yeah
gone too far on a dare: yea
spun until you were immensely dizzy: yea
taken a survey quite like this before: yea

Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site